Monday, August 17, 2009
I can't even begin to describe the peace that I felt.
I opened the blinds and let the sun warm my face, I turned on my stereo, and jammed a little, I even had some breakfast.
I never cook and eat breakfast at home before heading to work.
This morning was really just so amazing.
All credit is due to my awesome Lord.
Yesterday, between movies, I managed to get down on my knees - head to the floor - and tell God 'thank you'.
I thanked Him for all that I have, and for where He has brought me.
I was watching a sappy movie about how big a difference a great man can make in one's life.
That encouraged me to thank Him for my boyfriend.
The man that God has placed in my life is amazing.
There is no man like him, and I truly believe that God made this man JUST for me.
We haven't known each other long, but I feel like we've been best friends for a lifetime.
We have so much fun when we're together.
Anyway, I'll use another post to go on and on about my boyfriend.
This post is for voicing my gratitude for the love and grace of God.
I truly am thankful.
Because of the goodness of God and the peace that He gives,
this just might be my best Monday-morning-before-work EVER!!
I hope that you all have wonderfully blessed Mondays and wonderfully blessed weeks!!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
A smile softened my face at the thought of speaking to you.
Then I remembered...
You're not at the house sitting in "your chair" watching every version of the news broadcasted.
You're not in the garden watering your plants.
You're not at Smitty's getting a can of snuff, a pack of nabs, and a coke.
I know that it's been months upon months since you've been able to do those things, but obviously my mind took me to the before.
My mind took a journey to the "good ole days" when you were still laughing.
You always told me exactly what was on your mind, and you always gave me such great advice.
I cherish your advice.
I'll never forget those conversations we had about how well 'he' took care of you.
But now, you're unreachable.
You're in a place where phone calls, tight hugs, and big kisses can't reach you.
That somewhat saddens my heart, because I know that you loved those things. I know that you're fine now.
I know that where you are at this very moment, you are just fine.
I love you always always.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Every now and then (at times beyond my choosing) my mind drifts back to people who were formerly near and dear to my heart. Right away, those thoughts warm my heart, and bring a sadness that things aren’t the way they “used to be”. Yes, we all have to move on. We have to pick up ourselves, so that we can create new memories and new moments which we will one day in the future look back upon. Honestly, I sometimes wish I could live completely in the past. I don’t mean getting a second chance at certain opportunities, and events. I literally mean living in a memory; or maybe even jumping from great memory to great memory, without all the in-betweens. There are people with whom I wish I could spend a lifetime instead of a moment or even a day. I’m just thankful that God has blessed us to accept the fact that people come and go.
Very rarely, I have the urge to blurt out “You are an amazing, intelligent person, who has truly mastered the ability to show your intelligence without belittling those around you. Simply being near you has been inspiring in so many ways, and I just wish you could be present to positively influence my life forever.” Or “I know that we’ve had our disagreements. I know that I am far from truly grasping what a friend really is, and I understand that I’ve made innumerable mistakes thus far, but if only you could stay in my life so that I could learn how to be a better person and a better friend. It may be a risk for you to continue to be around me - you, being the amazing friend and person that you are - but am I not worth that risk?”
Friday, June 12, 2009
Just a quick update:
Mommy's doing well - just got engaged. << She's hilarious too! I never realized that growing up.
Brother's doing great - vacationing more than working; I love my bwother :)
The rest of the fam is alright.
The beau is AMAZING - I'll share more about the young man at a later time.
Dog is 'making it' - He is only 'making it' because he's still at a shelter somewhere wishing he were mine...I want a dog!!!
The hair is cooperating - it's growing like a weed on hormones; so outta control!
So yeah, everything's groovey.
I'll be writing a 'real' blog soon though.
Later gators!! : )
Friday, May 22, 2009
Growing up, our family traversed some pretty rough terrain. I won't go into the details of what obstacles constituted that rough terrain, but I will say that depending on others was the only way we survived. From depending on friends to babysit me and my older sibling, while my mother worked several part-time jobs, to depending on family to lend us money, appliances, and anything else we didn't have.
There was also a certain mindset that clouded our home, but I didn't realize the effects of it until recently. It is a lot like pollution. No one can really "see" the effects of pollution as the pollutants are clouding our skies, but scientists know and relay to layman that these pollutants are eating away our ozone layer and contributing to global warming.
Back to the help thing....
Now that I am an adult with a full-time job, I avoid asking for help at all costs. Even having others offer to help me in common situations makes me feel somewhat defensive and vulnerable as I tell myself (even when it's not true) "I can do it on my own!"
I want to learn how to ask for help. I want to learn how to communicate my need for assistance or prayer to friends and family members. I want to be able to accept that help knowing everyone needs a boost at one point or another. I also want to be able to accept help even if no one else in the entire world ever needs help. I am not like everyone else. I am not like anyone else. There are times when I need help, but that is much more easily typed than spoken. Lol.
I am trying to be independent in a situation and under circumstances that completely merit me occasionally accepting a little aid. Independence is very important to me because growing up, we never could claim independence. There was always someone somewhere we owed. That is not a great feeling, but that is the way it was.
Was is the key word. Right now, I don't owe any person any thing (accept Verizon, because I just remembered I haven't paid my bill this month :). Just as I am more than willing to help others in ANY way I possibly can, I have to be at least a little willing to ask for help when I need help.
Right now, I pray that God helps me to request and accept help whenever I really need it. Even if people think I am some type of loser/moocher/lazy bum for asking for help ONCE, that is okay. I have no control over what others think of me.
Friday, May 15, 2009
I believe he made it a soft hue of ice blue in the morning
and radiant shades of orange, red, and purple in the evening just for us.
I believe that God painted these awesome masterpieces for his creation to enjoy and appreciate.
I believe He painted the sky to remind us that His presence is everywhere, that He cares - even about the smallest details - and to make us open our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us.
Yesterday I was completely exhausted. As I was out running errands, I was able to take a few seconds to look up at the sky. This glance birthed a conversation with God, and made me completely forget how tired I was.
Turns out, we had quite a bit to talk about as there are quite a few things going on in my life right now about which I NEED His direction.
It just felt so incomparably amazing to just express to Him the splendor of His creation, and pour out my heart to Him.
I believe that God caused me to look up at the clouds as a way of reminding me that we needed to talk.
I believe that the specific area of sky that froze my thoughts and arrested my undivided attention, was painted just for me.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sometimes I wonder about so many things: my thinking, my relationships, my friendships, my past, my future, my heart, my decisions...
There are so many things of which I am not sure. So many things outside of me that are left for me to decide.
It makes me wonder if I'm ever really doing the "right" thing. Am I ever really using the "right" words? Am I ever really making the "right" decision? Am I ever really doing anything "right"? Am I really actually following God? If so, I wonder where He is leading me (giggle, because I know He is leading me somewhere awesome and special).
Whenever I wonder these things, I just have to calmly remind myself that I have placed my life in His hands. I gave Him full control, and I have to "let it ride." I have to let Him handle things as He promised me He would.
One thing I wonder more than anything else....how will I know? How will I know that what I am saying or doing is right? How will I know which man is worthy of having me in his arms for a lifetime? How will I know which young man has been seeking God for a woman of God, which man has been seeking His face for the mate that fits him like his favorite sweats? How will I know which guy will fully appreciate my big heart full of love, my willingness to serve, my love of serving, my desire to always wear a t-shirt and sweatpants, my enjoyment of Bryer's ice cream and Ruffles chips, my decision to avoid buying too much stuff because I don't want to get obsessed with possessions, my desire to adopt children regardless of whether I can have my own, my care for the people who love, hate, like, dislike, and are apathetic towards me, and my unique personality.
It is not that I don't trust Him; it is just that sometimes my mind inevitably drifts to these things, that's all.
I just wonder this sometimes. Not all the time, because thinking can be time-consuming and exhausting. It can also distract one from his/her work (:o) - can't have that! Lol!
Do you ever wonder about things?? I'm not trying to be nosey or cast doubts, I am interested in knowing what consumes your thoughts.
I pray you have a blessed week!!!! : )
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
God is not in heaven right now, distraught trying to figure how He'll be able to bless ALL His children this month. He's not worrying about how He'll be able to keep heaven with the housing market looking like it does. He's not thinking of where He'll find the time to answer everyone's prayers once He gets a second job.
God has everything. His resources are infinite, His time is infinite. He's not at all concerned about the economy. He probably hasn't even thought twice about, except for the fact that His children are living in worry and concern about their futures.
Why are we so concerned about what's going on in the world.
- We're just here for a short while anyway. A lifetime is nothing compared to an eternity.
- God told us not to take thought for the morrow, but to let it take care of itself [I'll post the verse when I find it].
- He also said He will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus [Same here].
Don't worry. Just trust.
So the funny part of all this is that this morning when I was thinking it over, I was thinking "Christians shouldn't say we're in a recession." because we're not. The world is in a recession, but this is not our home. When people say we're in a recession, we should say "Y'all (yes, I'm from the South : ) are in a recession. I'm not. God doesn't operate according to man's terms. God has infinite resources, and so do I. He'll supply all my needs regardless of what's going on in the world."
Maybe this is one of those "easier said than done" situations, but I just found it funny to tell someone " 'WE'RE' in a recession?? No. Y'all are in a recession" and watch them give you the ultimate crazy look. Lol.
Anywho, that's it for now. Thought it was humorous, and wanted to share.
God bless you!!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I decided to play Hillsong, because they're just so awesome.
The following song, entitled The Stand, started playing, and I had to stop working and just focus on these lyrics:
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe, of of the One Who gave it all
My soul Lord to you surrendered
ALL I AM IS YOURS
These aren't all the words to the song, but these are the lyrics that arrested my attention.
Just take some time, and really let these words sink into your spirit, then rise in song to the Lord...
Thursday, April 9, 2009
In accomplishing this "reading through the Bible" thing, I've decided to try to read my Bible daily. I know, you may be thinking, "You don't read your Bible daily?? Who do you think you are?? But its your 'DAILY bread'. 'Man cannot live by bread alone, but by every Word that preceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord. Matt 4:4 ' "
I know. I know. The world wasn't built in a day (<< style="font-size:130%;">THE WORLD to me. Having these feelings is meaningless without the actions that corroborate them. I want God to see that I love Him. I completely understand that I could NEVER EARN His love, but that doesn't prevent me from showing Him my love. Geeze.
Anywho, back to the Bible-reading.
I'm reading the story of Joseph (around Genesis 38), and I was thinking about all the obstacles in Joseph's life.
His father loved him more than his other brothers (not the obstacle part) and his brothers knew this (the obstacle part). To add insult to injury, Joseph wasn't shy about showing his brothers the gifts his father gave him.
[That actually kinda led me to believe Joseph may have been a little naive (Naive: (adj) Leslie's middle name). If I knew that a group of strong, towering men disliked me AND I knew why, I definitely wouldn't fuel that fire.]
Now to get to the point of God was with HIM??.
God was right there with him, when he was sold into slavery by his own brothers, He was with Him when he was promoted to head of Potiphar's home and all his possessions, He was with him when he was thrown into prison and falsely accused of propositioning Potiphar's wife, He was with Him when he was promoted to keeper of all the prisoners in Potiphar's prison - and that's as far as I've gotten so far.
When Joseph was the apple of his father's eye or the keeper of all Potiphar's possessions, the Lord was with him. When Joseph was at the bottom of the bottom as slave to the Ishmaelites, the Lord was still with him.
What I got from all this: Having the Lord on our side, and constantly being in His presence doesn't mean that life will always be a "walk in the park" - although depending on the size of the park, the terrain, the heat index, and the humidity, that doesn't really seem like the best part of the Life is GOOD/TERRIBLE spectrum, lol. It just means that He is with us in the midst of it all.
For so long (i.e. forever), I wondered what the reasons were for my life being so sucky. I wondered "Ohhh, what I have I done to deserve such a sucky life." And actually, what I wondered went more like "I HAVEN'T done anything to deserve this life, so why do I have it? Why am I the one always struggling, et cetera et cetera et cetera."
Who am I, to think that my life is supposed to be without difficulty? What basis do I have to make such an ignorant assumption? Just like God doesn't have to explain His blessings, He doesn't have to explain the, sometimes circuitous, paths that lead to those blessings. If He did, more than likely, I wouldn't understand. His knowledge bank, compared to mine, is....well....to put it modestly....a gazillion times fuller. It's the trials and the obstacles that make the success so much more rewarding.
Isaiah 43:2 kinda sums up what I'm getting at here. It's a great scripture. Oh, and there are plenty of stories with a similar theme - Job is the one that sticks out to me.
Have a blessed weekend remembering the incredible SACRIFICE our Savior made for us ALL!!!!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
A "V-list celebrity" as apposed to an A-, B-, C-....or U-list one.
I though that was hilarious.
Oh, and I found my primer that I had dropped and couldn't recover yesterday. I sooo appreciate the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I'd be so lost and sad without it.
Have a great day!!
Monday, April 6, 2009
...I still can't find my other favorite earring.
...I dropped a freezer box full of PCR reagents.
....when I dropped the box, I lost a primer I just purchased.
...I didn't have time to fully peer review an article that needed to be turned in today.
...a person I used to consider a friend, but called me a jerk recently, sent me 2 angry text msgs - that last one ended in "Farewell".
...this PCR I keep doing still doesn't work.
...could have been worse.
...there was a piece of cake waiting on the fridge to greet me when I came in this morning. : )
Through it all, Jesus is still Lord. :)))
The chorus says:
Take the pain inside
Take the brokenness
Don't stop till there's nothing left
My arrogance my pride loss of innocence
Jesus, take everything.
That is my cry. I want God take away the pain of my past, and teach me how to let it go.
I want Him to take away my arrogance, my pride, and my loss of innocence.
I want Him to take it all away.
The song goes on to say:
There's nothing left of me
That's when I feel alive.
That is so awesome!
I want to have nothing left of me in me. I want God to feel me with Him - with His love, His compassion, His Holy Spirit.
I want everything like me to be replaced by the characteristics that are like Him.
My prayer is for God take EVERYTHING.
Friday, April 3, 2009
1. I've been craving a salad, but since I don't currently own a vehicle, trips to the grocery store are limited and buying them at lunch is costly. Today I had lunch in the cafeteria with some very lovely young ladies, and I ended up getting a salad and not having to pay for it. Thank God!!
2. I made a cake last night and was able to share some slices with the Human Resources (HR) department in my building. They were so surprised and so thankful to be getting cake. One lady ended up asking for the recipe and for pointers, because she was planning on making it this weekend.
3. After blessing several people with cake, they told me that I could get some free pizza that was left over from a staff meeting [and boy, do I LOVE free food :)].
4. I finally received correspondence from the Supervisor at an antibody supplier for our research lab, regarding a problem with an order I placed 3 months ago. I've been calling for months, but today they actually returned my phone call. To my surprise, the Supervisor was very soft-spoken and timid. I think the 3-month time span was to prepare me for speaking with this person in a kind, soft voice.
5. I went to the library and found the exact book that I need to study for taking the GRE in the upcoming months.
6. People have been holding doors for me, saying 'excuse me', and saying 'thank you' all day! The kindness and gratitude I've experienced today has been so refreshing!
7. I asked someone down in HR this morning, "How are you doing?" and he replied "Wonderful!" That blessed me too. I really appreciated his optimism and positive spirit. He said "When I wake up, I tell myself 'Today is going to be a great day!' " That was quite the encouragement for me.
There are probably more awesome things that have happened to me in the past 24 hours, but those are all I could think of right now. Be blessed - to be a blessing, of course!! : )
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Feeling His love is like no other feeling, experiencing His kindness is unlike the greatest show of humanity, knowing that He cares about little ole me, just puts me at ease. I can't believe He loves me. I mean, I can, because I know that He does; but it's just difficult to....to grasp.
I make so many mistakes.
I make so many terrible decisions.
I've turned away from His open arms so many times.
I've placed people, things, goals, situations, preoccupations before Him soooo many times in the past; yet He's still here, leading and guiding me.
Still He's here, holding me as I slumber, gently awakening me with a kind reminder of His presence, walking with me daily keeping me in constant remembrance of Who He is.
I am so blessed to know Him. I am so blessed to be able to read about His miracles, His wrath, His jealosy, His omniscience. It's like I completely understand His jealousy.
He's my Father and the Love of my life.
I'm supposed to seek Him when I'm in trouble, seek Him when I need advice, seek Him when everything is perfectly fine.
He's my perfect Man.
He is my first love, my last love, and my always love.
No man will ever treat me as well as He treats me.
No man will ever love me like He loves me.
The loving arms of no man will feel like His loving arms wrapped around me all snug and tight.
I will never feel as safe in any other man's arms, as I feel in His.
No one, no thing, no situation, no perfection, no accomplishment - nothing can compare to Him.
I don't now, nor could I ever deserve anything He does for me, but He does it anyway, just because He loves me. That is INCREDIBLE. Who loves you like that? Who is willing to treat you like a princess/prince even when you treat them like a stranger or an invisible person? Who loves you UNCONDITIONALLY? Most people don't even know what it means to love unconditionally.
Lord, I love you so much, and I thank You for this opportunity to get these words off my heart. I appreciate You blessing me with this peaceful moment, and I look forward to spending the remainder of this day with You. Thank you!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Fresh air and cool breezes that make my skin feel so natural and comfortable.
Smells I've never before smelled, sights I've never before seen. God truly blessed these people when he created this country. The grass is actually greener, the trees taller and fuller, the clouds thicker and closer, the animals more content.
The picturesque views effect such positive up-lifting changes on whatever mood you may be in.
The people - beautiful!
Aside from their creamy caramel- to rich dark-chocolate-colored skin, their cascading dark hair, their striking features, and their obvious contentment with their body shapes/types/sizes, their character and their genuine personality traits make them rare treasures in this massive, ever-expanding world.
We are so quick to place value on clothes, shoes, houses, cars, jewelry, etc; but the truest value lies in the heart of genuine, honest people.
The area of Brazil to which we traveled wasn't the poorest of the country, but neither was it the wealthiest. The standard of living was very different from that of the US. Poverty here is pretty close to luxury there, and poverty there is beyond what we could fathom. I say this not to condescend upon their style of living or to degrade their way of life, but to enlighten the unbeknown individuals of the truth behind lifestyles in different.
They have pride, but its a different type of pride. They take pride in themselves, but its not a vain excessive pride. They take pride in their country in an incredibly laudable way. They could certainly teach people across the globe, what it means to have pride in one's country. These people, these beautiful-spirited people - they are my role models.
They have the hearts, the mindsets, the open arms I want to have.
From being in Brasil for one week, I've soaked up the core of what true beauty is.
I went over there to impact lives, and to live God's love, but I think that God meant for that encounter to impact me and to show me the awesome splendor of seeing Him glorified in a language I don't understand.
I didn't need to speak the language to see their love and devotion to God. They have encouraged me in my walk with my Father in a way that I never expected.
Thank you, Lord, for opening my heart and my spiritual understanding in such an amazing way.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
>My Brother-in-law: who was the first to donate - as a joke, lol
>Aunt L: who donated twice
>Uncle C: who was one of the first to donate
>My big Sis: who even included my niece and nephew in the giving
>My big Bro: who has agreed to provide spending $ I may need while there
>Rose: who decided to give w/out my asking her to do so
>Each of the 33 people who purchased a plate of bar-be-que from me :)))
These family members (and the remainder of my amazing family) are the reasons I thank God for the blessings in my life.
We're on this earth with other people for a reason. Remember that.
Monday, February 23, 2009
If you add and subtract the figures below the pie graph near the very bottom of this blog, you'll notice a few extra dollars. Those extra dollars will go in support of students who are having trouble raising their money.
Also remember to pray for the effectiveness of our ministry while we're there. Thanks!!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
If only I could wake tomorrow morning and have no memory of this breeze.
This breeze has drifted into my life and sharpened my perspective.
It has subtly blown away some of the pollution that clouded my view, and has affected me greatly.
It has drifted from my face to my lungs to my heart and throughout my being, all in one breath.
I appreciate people more.
I understand the rarity of quality individuals better.
I see the world a little differently.
I'm more thankful for the trials that God has brought me through.
I now see that my life has not been easy, but it could have been much more difficult.
I now see that my circumstances aren't the best, but they could be much worse.
I'm more thankful than I've ever been for the wonderful people God has allowed to cross my path.
New Years' Day (around 2am) I made a list of almost 300 individuals, families, and groups that I have been immensely honored to encounter.
I truly believe that God has a purpose for this climate change in my life, and I'm grateful for it.
This breeze originated and dwelt in Casablanca for many years, then traveled to Washington state, and now resides in my "neck of the woods".
This is a breeze as rare as a purple diamond, so I'm blessed to have heard the story of its journey, seen the beauty of its mass, and felt the wonder of its coolness.
What a lovely refreshing breeze this is, but only temporary is any weather condition that ensues. I dread the day when this breeze has moved on to another part of the world, never to wist away my polluted perspective again.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I have been living super far below my means lately to save for the trip.
Because there a few people who have donated to the cause, I felt it necessary to budget my own money very carefully.
So, my monthly expenses allow me to save quite a bit, and I figured I'd save most of the money myself. Another reason I wanted to save it myself, is that my family and friends of my family have been extremely instrumental to getting me to where I am today. Now that God has blessed me with a job, I just don't feel comfortable petitioning them for monetary support.
Anyway, upon recent reviews of my budget, I realized I won't actually be able to save ALL the money myself.
My pride (I know, I know) kept me from talking to fam that I had originally told, I didn't need their financial support.
TODAY, I saw that my sister called, texted, and left me a voicemail message.
Turns out, she wanted to transfer some $ to my account for my trip.
ALL I could do was tell God THANK YOU!!!!!!
I've been trying to think of what I would say to her, but God had everything planned out all along. I'm soooo thankful for that!!!
Oh, and Tricia (a grad student in the lab I work in) gave me a calendar. I love calendars and I haven't had a chance to buy one for 2009, so my day is soooo awesome!!
Oh oh, AND I just got an email that I don't have class tomorrow. This is good because I haven't been able to access blackboard to download the journal articles I would have a quiz on tomorrow.
Sidenote: I'm not in grad school, but I'm taking a grad-level cardiovascular pathology course just for kicks. It's very challenging, but very interesting.
God is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Don't worry, I'm not going to post a pic of a sickly child, and tell you to send 'me' a dollar-a-day so the child can eat.
I will, however...
Post links in this blog post that you can go to if you'd like to support. It's very easy. If you go to this website and order your digital prints through one of the companies listed, you can help raise money for our trip.
The ordering has to be done through this website, for the companies to know that the donations go towards our mission trip.
Thanks in advance!!!!
Let me know if you have ANY questions, and tell allll your friends!!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
We were friends for years – at least that’s how we started. We attended middle and high school together, and also most of elementary school.
He was always the fun, nice guy that everyone enjoyed being around, while I held the reputation of being the nice girl that was always in a relationship (this is speculation, of course. I have no idea what ppl thought of me in high school).
The guy whose heart I ‘had’ (we'll call him Nice) wasn’t "the one" (we'll call him Long-term) this story is about. This guy (Nice) was sweet enough, but he just wasn’t for me. The fact the he pursued me with such determination and loyalty, completely scared me. I was a bit thrown by his open - and on many occasions, openly declared - love for me.
We had never dated, nor had we even kissed. He was after me, and I didn’t understand why. I wasn’t that great of a girl (really, I wasn't). I always pegged him for the type that would break my heart once he finally had it.
Women always love a good chase. Once that chase is over though, the final prize doesn’t quite present the same excitement.
Anyway, this is a digression from him (Long-term). The him that this story is all about.
The small high school that we went to afforded me the opportunity to know him, but he and I were never close friends. His crowd was a little more popular than mine (at least that's how I see it), but at a small, private, Christian school, none of that really mattered. Every one was familiar with everyone else. We had actually been in school together since first grade, as was the case with several of the other people with whom I graduated.
It’s funny that it took me close to 10 years to see just how perfect he was for me, and how unfathomably perfect we fit (seemed to fit) together....
By the way, the continuation of this will be here
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The other day, when I was riding home from work on the bus, a guy sat beside me once the passenger that was originally beside me got off at his/her stop.
[I always look out the window when I'm on the bus, because I'm somewhat weary of strangers, and I just like the solace of watching the scenery glide by.]
Anyway, he came and sat beside me and started talking to me. I don't remember what he said, but I was in a hurry to get off the bus after our conversation (remember, I'm weary of strangers).
I couple weeks later, he sat beside me again, and actually began a short conversation. A week or two after that, he told me that he didn't have any local friends, and that his entire family was still in India.
At this point, my heart went out to the young man (who a later calculated to be at least 35 years old - talk about awkward). I'm no "friendship-denyer", so I told him that we could be friends. The Bible doesn't teach me to completely deny friendship to those who don't know Christ, at least not based on how I understand it.
Anywho, we exchanged numbers, and decided to hang out. I just can't stand the thought of someone being around so many people, and still feeling alone. That's just not fair.
So we met up for pizza. It took me 3 days to convince this person that I'd prefer to meet him somewhere rather than him picking me up or me picking him up. His argument was that in India, friendship meant that people hung out together and they trusted each other with no reservations. I'm not sure whether I completely believe that, but its fine. The point was that I had only known him for a week or so, with only very short conversations transpiring during that time frame.
I was NOT about to get in his car.
Okay, so we met for pizza, and he told me about his career and stuff. I talked all of 10 minutes during that whole evening which lasted about 2 hours. Also, we ordered a large pizza, of which he ate none...not even a slice.
Then it started.
He tried to convince me to take the pizza home (Attempts #1-13). I didn't want the pizza. That wasn't okay with him. He wouldn't accept me not taking the pizza home. After refusing to take the pizza in discussion, he tried to hand it to me as we left the restaurant. I guess he thought my words were futile, or it was opposite day.
When I was about to go home, he tried to give it to me again (attempt #14-16). Again, I refused it.
Once I arrived home, guess who was there! It was him, trying to give me the pizza out of his cracked car window (attempt #17). I was on the phone, but I just shook my head and kept walking towards my place.
I was VERY uncomfortable at this point. Instead of going into my apartment (which he would have easily been able to see from where his car was positioned), I went past my place, to the other end of the building. He couldn't see me at this point, because I was basically behind the building (in a pretty well-lit area).
I was on the phone with a buddy who only lives a few minutes from my place, and he could tell from my voice that I was very uncomfortable. I didn't tell him what was going on at this point, because I wasn't sure whether the guy had gotten out of his car and approached the building.
I prayed to myself, because I had placed myself in quite the predicament, and I didn't know what to do.
The guy had called my cell 4 or 5 times since I had arrived at home. I didn't click over though for obvious reasons.
Finally, after about fifteen minutes of standing out in the cold, waiting for a safe moment for me to escape the cover of darkness and slip into my apartment unnoticed, I did.
I was very relieved.
I explained the story to my friend on the phone, and he did his best to calm me down. It was an interesting night, but I'm glad its over, and I'm thankful for God's protection.
The guy ended up apologizing several times. He really didn't find any error in his actions. I forgave him, but I'll be a whole lot more careful in the future. I failed to entertain the thought that maybe he didn't have friends for a reason.
He's not crazy (I felt like I needed to state that), he's just a little clueless as to what is and isn't okay...boundaries.
We're still cool though (I guess).
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I AM at work, but I've never been happier to be at work.
It's freakin beautiful outside, and there is nothing anyone could say or do (no one here at work) that would break my spirits.
Of course, North Carolina snow isn't usually very thick, nor does it usually last as long as more northern states, but its still beautiful.
I'll have to post my pics!!
Have a wonderful day everyone!!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The other day, on my way home from work, the bus driver ended up side-swiping a suburban.
I seemed to be the only person that actually noticed the accident, because everyone else was completely oblivious to what had happened.
When the woman sitting next to me looked over and said “I wonder why we’re still sitting here.” I decided to tell the secret.
I stated “We hit that truck” while gesturing to the SUV beside us.
Of course, several others heard this, and starting asking questions. It was true; no one else had heard the “thud.”
In this moment, everyone was still pretty calm, and I wanted things to remain this way.
This was a driver (an older grandfatherly gentleman) that I was accustomed to seeing and one that I had planned on giving a Christmas card to (but never got around to doing so), so I decided to go up and ask him what was going on.
[Note: There are at least 43 other people on this bus who could have done the same thing I was about to do.]
I approached him, and asked for an approximate time regarding what time the next bus would be coming. I also asked him about his holidays, and made small talk, because he never seemed to smile or talk and I was really wondering how he was doing.
Before I could get back to seat, a bold (a.k.a. RUDE) woman asked me what was going on. After I told her, she and progressively the remaining passengers, exited the bus.
As she got off, she complained loudly, and said that she would report him (for getting into an A-C-C-I-D-E-N-T?!).
As we all walked to the next bus stop, which was only about 40 feet or so ahead of the accident site, the woman continued to complain as another young girl joined in.
I interrupted “He was going to let you off the bus, he was just a little nervous about the accident.” This was a mistake, as she retorted “He’s always nervous! People have stuff to do…” and she trailed off into the land of complaint.
Right before I exited the bus, I told the man “I hope you have a great day.” To which he kind of shook his head to signify that the accident had kind of placed a “dent” in that plan. I then corrected my statement by saying “I hope you have as good as a day as you can have considering the circumstances.” He laughed a little, said thanks, and returned the sentiment.
Which person would you have been? Would you have fussed and cussed as if the person had purposely collided with the other vehicle?
How often do we demand what we want when we want it, as if the world really does revolve around us? Although in this specific situation, he did have passengers to consider, he also had his job to consider. He was only trying to get to his stops at the scheduled time.
Before we complain, before we fuss, before we cuss, before we yell, before we cop an attitude, let’s take a second…take a minute…take a moment to consider the other person.
You don’t know what type of hours that person may be working, you have no idea what their circumstances may be, you don’t know what may be going on in their families.
It’s true that they don’t know any of that info about you either, but just be the bigger person. Be the stronger person. Be the considerate person that you would want someone else to be to you.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I'm at work, and I've been doing stuff, listening to my ipod all morning.
The music keeps me going (in my own world, of course), lol.
Whenever I switch my earbuds from my ipod to my desktop at work, to listen to music, or something on Youtube, only the right earbud works.
Even when I used someone else's headphones, the same occurred.
This has been how things have occurred for about 7 months now, ever since I've been at this job.
A moment ago, I decided to listen to one of the videos on Hon's blog http://godsmiraclegirl333.blogspot.com/
At the beginning of the blog is prayer, which I bowed my head in agreement with. After the prayer, the singing began. As I listened, I realized both my earbuds were transmitting sound.
I began to tear up as my heart melted and I thanked God for His awesome splendor. That is my blessing of the day, and I am extremely grateful for that gesture of Love from our Heavenly Father.
I hope this blessed you as much as it blessed me!!
God bless you my Christian family!!
My cousin was tickled to see my excitement over something so trivial, but I didn't care.
A couple days later, my brother and I fairly long trip, and we stopped at Bo-jangles for food. I ordered a 2-piece meal with cajun beans and dirty rice, and he ordered a sandwich. Once we returned to the vehicle and got back onto the highway, I opened my box to eat, only to realize that I had forgotten to get plasticware.
The Lord reminded me, "Your spork!"
All I could do was thank God!! It was small and seemingly insignificant, but very profound. God knew when I was at KFC several days prior, that I would forget to get eating utensils when I went to Bo-jangles. This served as a reminder, that trusting God with my future is the best thing to do. He knows what will happen years from now (and also makes provision), when the most I can do is speculate as to what I 'think' may possibly occur (redundant, I know, but I want to drive the point home, lol).
This is my reminder, anytime I feel the need to take the wheel, that God is a much better driver than am I. :)