Monday, May 11, 2009

Walking on Wonder

Sometimes I wonder.

Sometimes I wonder about so many things: my thinking, my relationships, my friendships, my past, my future, my heart, my decisions...

There are so many things of which I am not sure. So many things outside of me that are left for me to decide.

It makes me wonder if I'm ever really doing the "right" thing. Am I ever really using the "right" words? Am I ever really making the "right" decision? Am I ever really doing anything "right"? Am I really actually following God? If so, I wonder where He is leading me (giggle, because I know He is leading me somewhere awesome and special).

Whenever I wonder these things, I just have to calmly remind myself that I have placed my life in His hands. I gave Him full control, and I have to "let it ride." I have to let Him handle things as He promised me He would.

One thing I wonder more than anything will I know? How will I know that what I am saying or doing is right? How will I know which man is worthy of having me in his arms for a lifetime? How will I know which young man has been seeking God for a woman of God, which man has been seeking His face for the mate that fits him like his favorite sweats? How will I know which guy will fully appreciate my big heart full of love, my willingness to serve, my love of serving, my desire to always wear a t-shirt and sweatpants, my enjoyment of Bryer's ice cream and Ruffles chips, my decision to avoid buying too much stuff because I don't want to get obsessed with possessions, my desire to adopt children regardless of whether I can have my own, my care for the people who love, hate, like, dislike, and are apathetic towards me, and my unique personality.

It is not that I don't trust Him; it is just that sometimes my mind inevitably drifts to these things, that's all.

I just wonder this sometimes. Not all the time, because thinking can be time-consuming and exhausting. It can also distract one from his/her work (:o) - can't have that! Lol!

Do you ever wonder about things?? I'm not trying to be nosey or cast doubts, I am interested in knowing what consumes your thoughts.

I pray you have a blessed week!!!! : )

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh so many wonders come through my mind throughout the day, some are silly others are serious like am I really doing God's will and living for Him and through Him? or Where will I be in 10 years, will I know if I impact someone for Jesus, etc. I enjoyed reading your post and your wonders! Keep em' coming!! love ya and blessings~!

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