3rd Anniversary of a Royal Birth

In the previous post, On This Day an Angel Was Born..., I referred to the letter I wrote to my little angel for her third birthday. The letter is below...

Dear Daughter,

This past year has been filled with so much change. There has also been quite a bit of change from one day to the next my sweet little 3 year old.

You and the potty have become best friends as you've conquered the throne. Occasionally, when you go into the bathroom to handle your business, you climb onto the porcelain throne, and point to the threshold of the bathroom as you say "Go, mommy. Go." This most often occurs when the business that needs handling is solid rather than liquid. Regardless, apparently, even a 3 year old needs her bathroom privacy.

You can now count to fifteen and you are able to name all the letters of the alphabet upon sight. Your counting is adorable because fourteen comes after thirteen and before thirteen, and sometimes fifteen never comes at all. With the letter recognition, you confuse N and M, which is completely understandable, but you still do a very good job.

Now, on to your more interesting traits...

Rather than plain old wrestling, you and I alternate "biting" each other. "Biting" is in quotes, because I nibble on you playfully with my lips covering my teeth, so that my teeth don't come in contact with you at all. I also merely put your tiny arm or leg in my mouth. I don't actually apply force. When I do it, you laugh whole-heartedly, and it's sooooo awesome. It's like I'm tickling you! You, on the other hand, haven't caught on to the fact that I'm covering my teeth with my lips, and you literally bite me, then laugh. You don't do it with any force, so it's still very funny.

You've finally began to understand that tooting (as in flatulence) makes a pretty funny sound when it comes out, and it smells pretty darn terrible 90% of the time. These days, you giggle when you toot, and sometimes follow that initial toot up with several more, each accompanied by adorable little giggles. Once the fragrance of all that hits your nose, you say "That doesn't smell nice, mommy." To which I'd love to say "No shit, Sherlock" as a joke, lol, but I can't use that type of language with my princess.

Sweetheart, we share so many special moments. One example occurred a few nights ago. I was sitting on the floor gathering books for a bedtime story, and you walked over, placed your arm around my neck like we were old buddies, and said "Mommy, you're my best friend." I wanted to cry, because I felt so special in that moment.

You're a very sweet, kind, and compassionate toddler, and the empathy in which you operate astounds me at times. If you see me yawn or lying down, you ask me if I'm tired. If you see me laugh, you ask me what's "laughing" instead of what's "funny". You're always concerned with what I'm doing and how I'm feeling, and I love it.

This past year, I've gotten to see you really develop a personality that's full of love and kindness, but refuses to be a push-over. Even though you're a petite toddler, your attitude doesn't reflect it. You walk and talk like you're 6 feet tall, and it's adorable.

I appreciate your capacity to demand what you want, although we're still working on you understanding that you can't always have things your way.

I love you dearly, and look forward to you continuing to develop emotionally, socially, academically, and behaviorally. Being your mother has been a richly rewarding experience thus far, and I look forward to continuing to cultivate and guide you to becoming the woman you're intended to become.

Love Always,
Mom

Learning to Put Me First

Love.

I've been thinking a lot lately about love.

I've especially been thinking of how important it is for me to love myself unconditionally.

One important part of my recent journey is learning how to love me and accept me.

I huge part of that is accepting how awesome I am.

I've been in conversations with a friend about how we've been trained to very easily believe the negative things - including what society says, what our critics say, what the media says, what our cultures say. We were trained to accept and believe it all as our own truths.

However, I've decided to define my own truth. This is a concept I learned from Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of The Four Agreements.

He presents some really profound concepts about our reality. I won't get into those four agreements now (they're on youtube), but I will discuss his concepts as they apply to my current line of thought.

Don Ruiz talks about how we can choose to define our own truths.

Example: The sky is blue. We all accept that the sky is blue on most clear, sunny days. However, what is blue? Blue is defined by unanimous agreement to be composed of certain hues and saturations of color as they are perceived by each individual. We all have pretty much agreed on what defines "blue", as this was one of the very first things we learned in school. I don't have a reason to debate what shades and reflections of light define the color blue, so I don't. I accept what's commonly considered blue, as blue.

Now, if we apply this principle to something more important, this principle gets more interesting and more important.

Society tells me that I'm a certain gender, a certain color, a certain social status. Society, therefore implies certain things about me based on those observable features. However, there are several important factors to consider regarding this phenomena. (1) Society is made up of individuals who all have their own perspectives. These perspectives were shaped by their experiences, especially experiences that occurred during one's upbringing. Therefore, these pre-formed, ingrained perspectives are completely independent of me. (2) Society knows nothing about what makes me, me. Society only knows what it assumes about me based on superficial features, which there aren't very many. (3) I shouldn't invest energy, time, or even thought into modifying myself base on what I assume individuals, groups, or societies think of me. That's ludicrous.

Based on all this, I get the great honor of deciding who I am, and how I interact with the people and things in this world.

I love me and I love people, but generally, people don't give a shit about me. They don't give a shit about you either. Accepting that concept, and embracing that concept has been so liberating for me.

In loving me, I've accepted the fact that I'm only my own highest priority, no one else's. I'm no one else's highest priority. You're no one else's highest priority. Not your spouse's. Not your significant other's. Not your child's. Not your parents'. Each person is his/her highest priority.

Although I've decided to put myself, my needs, my wants first, I don't neglect others and I don't mistreat others.

One of my affirmations and a major principle by which I live is that I walk in LOVE, TRUTH, and KINDNESS by the GRACE and FAVOR of GOD.

It's all true, and I'll more about this in time. I'll also go back through some of my previous posts to figure out what other topics I aimed to discuss more in detail.

So yes, I'll write more about this as the urge arises. I don't like to place myself on a schedule for writing, because I like to follow where and when my heart leads.

As an aside, it seems as though each time I start to write with a specific thought in mind, I veer off to something else. Despite this, I'm always pleased with the final product. I always just let my thoughts and my words flow, and they always seem to lead me the destination at which I'm meant to arrive.

On This Day an Angel was Born...

Hi!

I've been really busy lately with writing my manuscript and planning my daughter's 3rd (but actually her very first) birthday party.

This was actually the very first party I've ever thrown, so there were definitely a few hiccups.

My little lady seemed to have such a great time, and that's all that mattered to me. Several of her little daycare friends came, and even her daycare teachers. She was in homecare up until she turned 2 years old, and her homecare nanny was also present.

I was overwhelmed at the turn-out, and was beyond appreciative of all the love that was shown on her special day. It was great to see people from the daycare, friends from the university I attend, family members, and parents of her friends, all socializing.

Her last birthday, I started this tradition, where I write her a little letter. There will be one letter each birthday. On her 18th birthday, I'll combine the letters into a book, so she can see how she's evolved and grown over time through mommy's eyes. [I'm literally tearing up just thinking of it.]

My next post will be my letter to my daughter on her 3rd birthday.

Following that, I'll expand on some of the points mentioned in the State of the Blogger Address I posted several weeks ago.

Stay tuned! :-)

A Love So Grand

There's something so comforting about being in a relationship with God.

Feeling His love is like no other feeling, experiencing His kindness is unlike the greatest show of humanity, knowing that He cares about little ole me, just puts me at ease. I can't believe He loves me. I mean, I can, because I know that He does; but it's just difficult to....to grasp.

I make so many mistakes.
I make so many terrible decisions.
I've turned away from His open arms so many times.
I've placed people, things, goals, situations, preoccupations before Him soooo many times in the past; yet He's still here, leading and guiding me.
Still He's here, holding me as I slumber, gently awakening me with a kind reminder of His presence, walking with me daily keeping me in constant remembrance of Who He is.

I am so blessed to know Him. I am so blessed to be able to read about His miracles, His wrath, His jealosy, His omniscience. It's like I completely understand His jealousy.
He's my Father and the Love of my life.
I'm supposed to seek Him when I'm in trouble, seek Him when I need advice, seek Him when everything is perfectly fine.
He's my perfect Man.
He is my first love, my last love, and my always love.
No man will ever treat me as well as He treats me.
No man will ever love me like He loves me.
The loving arms of no man will feel like His loving arms wrapped around me all snug and tight.
I will never feel as safe in any other man's arms, as I feel in His.
No one, no thing, no situation, no perfection, no accomplishment - nothing can compare to Him.

I don't now, nor could I ever deserve anything He does for me, but He does it anyway, just because He loves me. That is INCREDIBLE. Who loves you like that? Who is willing to treat you like a princess/prince even when you treat them like a stranger or an invisible person? Who loves you UNCONDITIONALLY? Most people don't even know what it means to love unconditionally.

Lord, I love you so much, and I thank You for this opportunity to get these words off my heart. I appreciate You blessing me with this peaceful moment, and I look forward to spending the remainder of this day with You. Thank you!

Happy Birthday to Whom?

Just imagine with me…

You just woke up, and you just feel like today is going to be a wonderful day.

You roll out of bed and get fresh and clean for the day.

Your hair looks nice, and you smell extra good, because today is a special day.

Your cell phone rings. It’s your mom, and she wishes you a happy birthday.

Of course, it’s your birthday.

You expect this day to be special.

Now imagine that it’s a weekday, so you have obligations.

Your day has already been scripted. You only have left to follow that script that has been designed just for you.

You already know that so many people will call, text, and send you messages on facebook to remind you of how loved you are on your special day.


It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

The day is flying by.

Your agenda had already warned you that it would be an oddly busy day.

Upon checking your phone, you learn that no one has called, neither has anyone sent you any text messages.

“Maybe they’ll call later” you convince yourself.

Everyone is obviously just as busy as you are.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

They’ll catch up with me later.


It’s 6 o’clock in the evening.

Your day is pretty much done in the way of obligations, and now its time to have fun.

You call your friends to see what type of mischief you all can get into that evening.

Each person you call already has plans!

What friends these are.

Your family members didn’t even leave free time in their schedules to spend with you.


It’s 9:45 at night.

You’re not really sleepy or tired, but there isn’t much else to do, but watch tv and go to be.

You decide to retire early, somberly disappointed by all the people that you thought cared about you, that let you down on the one day a year that you feel that you deserve at least a little attention.

How would you feel?


Now, think about all the Christmases you’ve celebrated.

Not only do we neglect to acknowledge December 25th as the Lord’s special day, but we even go as far as to exchange presents with friends and family members on this day.

Imagine how God must feel.

He may get a ‘Thank you’ or an ‘I love you’ but is that all He deserves on a day that is supposed to celebrate Him and His precious Son?


Let’s make this holiday season different from all the others.

Let’s use this time to bless God by showing love to those who are less fortunate.

There are children and families all over the world who can’t afford to be selfish over the holidays, because they don’t have the resources to do so.


Remember them.


In addition to blessing those who really only need prayer and love, bless those who can truly benefit from the fruit of your labor.


Have a wonderful holiday season of showing love and blessing those who are not as financially stable as you and your family.


Leviticus 23:22 Deuteronomy 15:11 Luke 14:12-14 Luke 12:33

Your World

I love you, my friend.
I appreciate the opportunity to call you friend.
There are over 6 billion people in this world, but God allowed me to be friends with you.
Have you ever thought about that?
Out of all the people in this world, there are certain people who are determined to hate you, there are others who are determined to love you and go out of their way to show you that love, and there are some people who couldn't care less about what happens to you.
Around you is a distinct network.
You almost have your own personal world.
In that world, you have people of all sizes and ages, and from all walks of life.
Your world has a nice mixture of personalities and characteristics.
This diverse, dynamic world is ever-expanding as you meet new people and as new lives are borne into the worlds of friends and loved ones.
The question is, how are you impacting the people in your world?
By what name do those people know you - grumpy, angry, wacky, discontent, unforgiving, rude, ungrateful, sweet, kind, thankful, humble, generous, compassionate, indifferent, selfish...the list is infinite?
Instead of passively allowing society and circumstances to impact you, actively decide what impact you will have on your immediate environment.
Live life; give love.
It's the most inexpensive gift you can give.
No Wal-Mart employee could possibly get trampled to death in customers' hot pursuit of a reasonable price on love.
It's an inherent, endless gift that we can give and give without ever concerning ourselves with whether we'll have enough to go around.
Give Love.

Just Not Tall Enough to Reach the Goals God has Set...

Have you ever felt like you just weren’t big enough?

Have you ever considered your abilities insufficient for the task you’ve been given – like there are sooo many other people better-suited for the job?

You’re tip-toeing around the thought of whether God actually meant to choose you.

You, the young person who never did anything right, who never seemed to live up to the person(s) your parents wanted you to emulate, who never gave your WHOLE life to God before, who hasn’t truly trusted a person in years, who’s not quite sure he/she knows how to love with longevity, but who is ready to trust God like you never have before, who is ready to love God genuinely and lengthily like you never have before, and who knows it’s time to turn it all over to Him.

It’s time to turn it all over to the God who was there when you lost friends to the cunning, cold hand of death: the God who continues to reach for your WHOLE heart although you have tried up until recently to keep parts of it just beyond His reach, the God who has always provided for you, and who has been the only man to TRULY care for you and every minute thing that was remotely related to you.

What a Love that is!

You are tall enough.

God is there lifting you to reach the goals He has for you.

Me and this heart of mine

I save text messages that touch my heart.
I save them, and I look at them occasionally, when I need a smile or when I need to be reminded that there are people who truly, selflessly care about me.
I smile to myself when I think of the small things people do just to show their humanity.
I have a sincere yearning for helping people.
I genuinely believe that one person can make a difference in another person’s life.
I’m not talking an Oprah difference, but I am thinking of an Oprah act.
What I mean there is that a minute gesture of kindness can have an immeasurable impact.
I long for love.
The love that I have to give is extraordinary and peerless.
To me, there’s no earthly love like the love I’m willing to give.
My only condition is that I receive that love in return.
For family and friends, I don’t mind if they don't equally reciprocate the love I show them, but the standard for the man with whom I’ll spend my remaining days is much higher.

On family: yes, they are my own blood, but they have their own households and their own families to maintain and show concern towards.
On friends: they have their own affairs and their own families. The only non-emotional link I have with friends is common interests, which is not exactly tantamount to genetic similarities.

It seems like the men I’ve recently encountered (I should just say man, because I’m actually only referring to my ex) want the sacrifice and the unconditional love they’re not willing to give themselves.
That’s just not for me.
I don’t want a man who accepts and embraces everything I am, without making sure I at least know and understand him in return.
That’s just not good enough.
Me and this heart of mine, we’re fragile.
We have become resilient over the years, but we just wish the emotional resilience we've developed wasn’t so necessary for survival in this world.
We patiently, but eagerly await our other half, anticipating the great victory of overcoming this insatiable yearning for compatibility.
We don’t know ourselves like God knows us, but as far as our meager understanding is concerned, we are ready for love.

What Does It Mean to be a Christian?

Don’t give your literal definition of the word, really think about it.
Try to look past the horrible examples which have been set before you.
Try not to let the subversive Christians you've encountered, impact the perfection the Lord embodies.

Think about the sacrifices, think about the humility, think about the lifestyle, think about the love – think about the word's connotation.
From my actions, I can tell you what others may think it means…
”Oh, well it must mean indulging in your most basic desires without going 'too far'.”
“It must mean doing any- and everything except killing people, stealing, etc; you know, anything for which you could possibly be imprisoned.”
“Maybe it means appearing to be nice and sweet to others, while doing whatever you’d like behind closed doors.”
“Or maybe it means going to church, and participating in other religious activities, while still maintaining the entirety of your own individualism.”

In reality, being a Christian is something completely different.
Being a Christian means living love.
It means loving humanity enough to sacrifice yourself, your lifestyle, and your possessions, to draw those who are lost.
Being a Christian means making the ultimate sacrifice.
It doesn’t necessarily mean forsaking what distinguishes you from everyone else, but it does mean using those distinctions to serve God.
Ultimately, it is redefining the value you have as a person – trading what the world values in and about you for what God deems invaluable in and about you.

Now, beyond defining 'being a Christian', the true task is living it.

Please tell me, what is this thing called LOVE??

Geeze, what is this thing called love?
Love is this nebulous notion of extreme emotion.
It makes people do things completely uncharacteristic of themselves.
It makes people care, it makes people question their existence, it makes people question their purpose, it just makes people...

What is this thing called love?
How can something so abstract have such an impact on beings so far up the ladder of intelligent beings?
We even beat out cock roaches, ants, and chimpanzees.
How is it that something intangible can have so much control over us -
we are intelligent beings, who have evolved to withstand certain pathogens and infectious agents, we've made great discoveries and phenomenal scientific advances, we've created machines to do everything save thinking for us, but we can't do anything about love.
All we can do is succumb to its infinite power.

It alters our senses - makes food tasteless, sounds inaudible, sights invisible, and thoughts valueless.
It makes us zombies, walking in a straight line, arms outstretched before us, searching for love.

Love is greater than humanity.

Lucky for us, it has survived time, and even the most sordid events.
Unlike us, it needn't evolve to survive; it simply survives.
It seems so simple, somewhat mundane and insignificant, but don't tell love that.
When disrespected, love can leave you in quite the bond.

I find it so humorous that human beings think themselves superior to everything, yet love has us all under her foot - lifting and moving us like puppets.

We are but slaves to this thing called love.

Try, just try to control love.
Try to categorize it, and group it alongside some other emotion.

Please indulge me with the details of the turnout.