Learning to Put Me First

Love.

I've been thinking a lot lately about love.

I've especially been thinking of how important it is for me to love myself unconditionally.

One important part of my recent journey is learning how to love me and accept me.

I huge part of that is accepting how awesome I am.

I've been in conversations with a friend about how we've been trained to very easily believe the negative things - including what society says, what our critics say, what the media says, what our cultures say. We were trained to accept and believe it all as our own truths.

However, I've decided to define my own truth. This is a concept I learned from Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of The Four Agreements.

He presents some really profound concepts about our reality. I won't get into those four agreements now (they're on youtube), but I will discuss his concepts as they apply to my current line of thought.

Don Ruiz talks about how we can choose to define our own truths.

Example: The sky is blue. We all accept that the sky is blue on most clear, sunny days. However, what is blue? Blue is defined by unanimous agreement to be composed of certain hues and saturations of color as they are perceived by each individual. We all have pretty much agreed on what defines "blue", as this was one of the very first things we learned in school. I don't have a reason to debate what shades and reflections of light define the color blue, so I don't. I accept what's commonly considered blue, as blue.

Now, if we apply this principle to something more important, this principle gets more interesting and more important.

Society tells me that I'm a certain gender, a certain color, a certain social status. Society, therefore implies certain things about me based on those observable features. However, there are several important factors to consider regarding this phenomena. (1) Society is made up of individuals who all have their own perspectives. These perspectives were shaped by their experiences, especially experiences that occurred during one's upbringing. Therefore, these pre-formed, ingrained perspectives are completely independent of me. (2) Society knows nothing about what makes me, me. Society only knows what it assumes about me based on superficial features, which there aren't very many. (3) I shouldn't invest energy, time, or even thought into modifying myself base on what I assume individuals, groups, or societies think of me. That's ludicrous.

Based on all this, I get the great honor of deciding who I am, and how I interact with the people and things in this world.

I love me and I love people, but generally, people don't give a shit about me. They don't give a shit about you either. Accepting that concept, and embracing that concept has been so liberating for me.

In loving me, I've accepted the fact that I'm only my own highest priority, no one else's. I'm no one else's highest priority. You're no one else's highest priority. Not your spouse's. Not your significant other's. Not your child's. Not your parents'. Each person is his/her highest priority.

Although I've decided to put myself, my needs, my wants first, I don't neglect others and I don't mistreat others.

One of my affirmations and a major principle by which I live is that I walk in LOVE, TRUTH, and KINDNESS by the GRACE and FAVOR of GOD.

It's all true, and I'll more about this in time. I'll also go back through some of my previous posts to figure out what other topics I aimed to discuss more in detail.

So yes, I'll write more about this as the urge arises. I don't like to place myself on a schedule for writing, because I like to follow where and when my heart leads.

As an aside, it seems as though each time I start to write with a specific thought in mind, I veer off to something else. Despite this, I'm always pleased with the final product. I always just let my thoughts and my words flow, and they always seem to lead me the destination at which I'm meant to arrive.