Learning to Put Me First

Love.

I've been thinking a lot lately about love.

I've especially been thinking of how important it is for me to love myself unconditionally.

One important part of my recent journey is learning how to love me and accept me.

I huge part of that is accepting how awesome I am.

I've been in conversations with a friend about how we've been trained to very easily believe the negative things - including what society says, what our critics say, what the media says, what our cultures say. We were trained to accept and believe it all as our own truths.

However, I've decided to define my own truth. This is a concept I learned from Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of The Four Agreements.

He presents some really profound concepts about our reality. I won't get into those four agreements now (they're on youtube), but I will discuss his concepts as they apply to my current line of thought.

Don Ruiz talks about how we can choose to define our own truths.

Example: The sky is blue. We all accept that the sky is blue on most clear, sunny days. However, what is blue? Blue is defined by unanimous agreement to be composed of certain hues and saturations of color as they are perceived by each individual. We all have pretty much agreed on what defines "blue", as this was one of the very first things we learned in school. I don't have a reason to debate what shades and reflections of light define the color blue, so I don't. I accept what's commonly considered blue, as blue.

Now, if we apply this principle to something more important, this principle gets more interesting and more important.

Society tells me that I'm a certain gender, a certain color, a certain social status. Society, therefore implies certain things about me based on those observable features. However, there are several important factors to consider regarding this phenomena. (1) Society is made up of individuals who all have their own perspectives. These perspectives were shaped by their experiences, especially experiences that occurred during one's upbringing. Therefore, these pre-formed, ingrained perspectives are completely independent of me. (2) Society knows nothing about what makes me, me. Society only knows what it assumes about me based on superficial features, which there aren't very many. (3) I shouldn't invest energy, time, or even thought into modifying myself base on what I assume individuals, groups, or societies think of me. That's ludicrous.

Based on all this, I get the great honor of deciding who I am, and how I interact with the people and things in this world.

I love me and I love people, but generally, people don't give a shit about me. They don't give a shit about you either. Accepting that concept, and embracing that concept has been so liberating for me.

In loving me, I've accepted the fact that I'm only my own highest priority, no one else's. I'm no one else's highest priority. You're no one else's highest priority. Not your spouse's. Not your significant other's. Not your child's. Not your parents'. Each person is his/her highest priority.

Although I've decided to put myself, my needs, my wants first, I don't neglect others and I don't mistreat others.

One of my affirmations and a major principle by which I live is that I walk in LOVE, TRUTH, and KINDNESS by the GRACE and FAVOR of GOD.

It's all true, and I'll more about this in time. I'll also go back through some of my previous posts to figure out what other topics I aimed to discuss more in detail.

So yes, I'll write more about this as the urge arises. I don't like to place myself on a schedule for writing, because I like to follow where and when my heart leads.

As an aside, it seems as though each time I start to write with a specific thought in mind, I veer off to something else. Despite this, I'm always pleased with the final product. I always just let my thoughts and my words flow, and they always seem to lead me the destination at which I'm meant to arrive.

WE are not in a Recession

Funny thing, this morning as I was preparing to go to work, I thought about the current recession (that's not the funny part). As I pondered the state of our country, I thought about the fact that God is not in a recession (that's not the funny part either : ).

God is not in heaven right now, distraught trying to figure how He'll be able to bless ALL His children this month. He's not worrying about how He'll be able to keep heaven with the housing market looking like it does. He's not thinking of where He'll find the time to answer everyone's prayers once He gets a second job.

God has everything. His resources are infinite, His time is infinite. He's not at all concerned about the economy. He probably hasn't even thought twice about, except for the fact that His children are living in worry and concern about their futures.

Why?

Why are we so concerned about what's going on in the world.

1. We're just here for a short while anyway. A lifetime is nothing compared to an eternity.
2. God told us not to take thought for the morrow, but to let it take care of itself [I'll post the verse when I find it].
3. He also said He will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus [Same here].
   

Don't worry. Just trust.

So the funny part of all this is that this morning when I was thinking it over, I was thinking "Christians shouldn't say we're in a recession." because we're not. The world is in a recession, but this is not our home. When people say we're in a recession, we should say "Y'all (yes, I'm from the South : ) are in a recession. I'm not. God doesn't operate according to man's terms. God has infinite resources, and so do I. He'll supply all my needs regardless of what's going on in the world."

Maybe this is one of those "easier said than done" situations, but I just found it funny to tell someone " 'WE'RE' in a recession?? No. Y'all are in a recession" and watch them give you the ultimate crazy look. Lol.

Anywho, that's it for now. Thought it was humorous, and wanted to share.

God bless you!!

: ))

A Love So Grand

There's something so comforting about being in a relationship with God.

Feeling His love is like no other feeling, experiencing His kindness is unlike the greatest show of humanity, knowing that He cares about little ole me, just puts me at ease. I can't believe He loves me. I mean, I can, because I know that He does; but it's just difficult to....to grasp.

I make so many mistakes.
I make so many terrible decisions.
I've turned away from His open arms so many times.
I've placed people, things, goals, situations, preoccupations before Him soooo many times in the past; yet He's still here, leading and guiding me.
Still He's here, holding me as I slumber, gently awakening me with a kind reminder of His presence, walking with me daily keeping me in constant remembrance of Who He is.

I am so blessed to know Him. I am so blessed to be able to read about His miracles, His wrath, His jealosy, His omniscience. It's like I completely understand His jealousy.
He's my Father and the Love of my life.
I'm supposed to seek Him when I'm in trouble, seek Him when I need advice, seek Him when everything is perfectly fine.
He's my perfect Man.
He is my first love, my last love, and my always love.
No man will ever treat me as well as He treats me.
No man will ever love me like He loves me.
The loving arms of no man will feel like His loving arms wrapped around me all snug and tight.
I will never feel as safe in any other man's arms, as I feel in His.
No one, no thing, no situation, no perfection, no accomplishment - nothing can compare to Him.

I don't now, nor could I ever deserve anything He does for me, but He does it anyway, just because He loves me. That is INCREDIBLE. Who loves you like that? Who is willing to treat you like a princess/prince even when you treat them like a stranger or an invisible person? Who loves you UNCONDITIONALLY? Most people don't even know what it means to love unconditionally.

Lord, I love you so much, and I thank You for this opportunity to get these words off my heart. I appreciate You blessing me with this peaceful moment, and I look forward to spending the remainder of this day with You. Thank you!

A Beautiful Place

Where to start...

Fresh air and cool breezes that make my skin feel so natural and comfortable.

Smells I've never before smelled, sights I've never before seen. God truly blessed these people when he created this country. The grass is actually greener, the trees taller and fuller, the clouds thicker and closer, the animals more content.

The picturesque views effect such positive up-lifting changes on whatever mood you may be in.

The people - beautiful!

Aside from their creamy caramel- to rich dark-chocolate-colored skin, their cascading dark hair, their striking features, and their obvious contentment with their body shapes/types/sizes, their character and their genuine personality traits make them rare treasures in this massive, ever-expanding world.

We are so quick to place value on clothes, shoes, houses, cars, jewelry, etc; but the truest value lies in the heart of genuine, honest people.

The area of Brazil to which we traveled wasn't the poorest of the country, but neither was it the wealthiest. The standard of living was very different from that of the US. Poverty here is pretty close to luxury there, and poverty there is beyond what we could fathom. I say this not to condescend upon their style of living or to degrade their way of life, but to enlighten the unbeknown individuals of the truth behind lifestyles in different.

They have pride, but its a different type of pride. They take pride in themselves, but its not a vain excessive pride. They take pride in their country in an incredibly laudable way. They could certainly teach people across the globe, what it means to have pride in one's country. These people, these beautiful-spirited people - they are my role models.

They have the hearts, the mindsets, the open arms I want to have.

From being in Brasil for one week, I've soaked up the core of what true beauty is.

I went over there to impact lives, and to live God's love, but I think that God meant for that encounter to impact me and to show me the awesome splendor of seeing Him glorified in a language I don't understand.

I didn't need to speak the language to see their love and devotion to God. They have encouraged me in my walk with my Father in a way that I never expected.

Thank you, Lord, for opening my heart and my spiritual understanding in such an amazing way.

Mission Trip

I've saved/received/fund-raised all the $$ for my mission trip!! Praise GOD!!! I'm sooooo excited!! Thank you to those of you who have been praying that we meet our goals. There is still quite a bit of money to be raised by the group, so keep on praying!

If you add and subtract the figures below the pie graph near the very bottom of this blog, you'll notice a few extra dollars. Those extra dollars will go in support of students who are having trouble raising their money.

Also remember to pray for the effectiveness of our ministry while we're there. Thanks!!

-Leslie :)

This Cool Breeze

I wish that I could control my thoughts and my heart's longings.
If only I could wake tomorrow morning and have no memory of this breeze.

This breeze has drifted into my life and sharpened my perspective.
It has subtly blown away some of the pollution that clouded my view, and has affected me greatly.
It has drifted from my face to my lungs to my heart and throughout my being, all in one breath.

I appreciate people more.
I understand the rarity of quality individuals better.
I see the world a little differently.
I'm more thankful for the trials that God has brought me through.
I now see that my life has not been easy, but it could have been much more difficult.
I now see that my circumstances aren't the best, but they could be much worse.

I'm more thankful than I've ever been for the wonderful people God has allowed to cross my path.

New Years' Day (around 2am) I made a list of almost 300 individuals, families, and groups that I have been immensely honored to encounter.
I truly believe that God has a purpose for this climate change in my life, and I'm grateful for it.

This breeze originated and dwelt in Casablanca for many years, then traveled to Washington state, and now resides in my "neck of the woods".

This is a breeze as rare as a purple diamond, so I'm blessed to have heard the story of its journey, seen the beauty of its mass, and felt the wonder of its coolness.

What a lovely refreshing breeze this is, but only temporary is any weather condition that ensues. I dread the day when this breeze has moved on to another part of the world, never to wist away my polluted perspective again.

I just couldn't NOT share this :)

Ok, so I'm going on a mission trip next month.
I have been living super far below my means lately to save for the trip.

Because there a few people who have donated to the cause, I felt it necessary to budget my own money very carefully.

So, my monthly expenses allow me to save quite a bit, and I figured I'd save most of the money myself. Another reason I wanted to save it myself, is that my family and friends of my family have been extremely instrumental to getting me to where I am today. Now that God has blessed me with a job, I just don't feel comfortable petitioning them for monetary support.

Anyway, upon recent reviews of my budget, I realized I won't actually be able to save ALL the money myself.

My pride (I know, I know) kept me from talking to fam that I had originally told, I didn't need their financial support.

TODAY, I saw that my sister called, texted, and left me a voicemail message.

Turns out, she wanted to transfer some $ to my account for my trip.

ALL I could do was tell God THANK YOU!!!!!!

I've been trying to think of what I would say to her, but God had everything planned out all along. I'm soooo thankful for that!!!

Oh, and Tricia (a grad student in the lab I work in) gave me a calendar. I love calendars and I haven't had a chance to buy one for 2009, so my day is soooo awesome!!

Oh oh, AND I just got an email that I don't have class tomorrow. This is good because I haven't been able to access blackboard to download the journal articles I would have a quiz on tomorrow.

Sidenote: I'm not in grad school, but I'm taking a grad-level cardiovascular pathology course just for kicks. It's very challenging, but very interesting.

God is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Blessing from Hon's Post

Okay, so I know I JUST posted something, but I really HAD to post this.
I'm at work, and I've been doing stuff, listening to my ipod all morning.
The music keeps me going (in my own world, of course), lol.

Whenever I switch my earbuds from my ipod to my desktop at work, to listen to music, or something on Youtube, only the right earbud works.

Even when I used someone else's headphones, the same occurred.

This has been how things have occurred for about 7 months now, ever since I've been at this job.

A moment ago, I decided to listen to one of the videos on Hon's blog http://godsmiraclegirl333.blogspot.com/

At the beginning of the blog is prayer, which I bowed my head in agreement with. After the prayer, the singing began. As I listened, I realized both my earbuds were transmitting sound.

I began to tear up as my heart melted and I thanked God for His awesome splendor. That is my blessing of the day, and I am extremely grateful for that gesture of Love from our Heavenly Father.

I hope this blessed you as much as it blessed me!!

God bless you my Christian family!!

My Dear Spork

The other day, my cousin and I were at KFC. We were on our way to some destination for some reason. Anyway, we drove around to the window to get our food. Once I received my food, I checked the bag to see that they got my order correct (although fast food places neeeever mix up orders, lol). Upon digging through the bag, I found a spork - an amazing cross between a spoon and a fork. I have such a fascination for the innovated eating utensil, that I had to ask the Colonel Sanders employee for another.

My cousin was tickled to see my excitement over something so trivial, but I didn't care.

A couple days later, my brother and I fairly long trip, and we stopped at Bo-jangles for food. I ordered a 2-piece meal with cajun beans and dirty rice, and he ordered a sandwich. Once we returned to the vehicle and got back onto the highway, I opened my box to eat, only to realize that I had forgotten to get plasticware.

The Lord reminded me, "Your spork!"

All I could do was thank God!! It was small and seemingly insignificant, but very profound. God knew when I was at KFC several days prior, that I would forget to get eating utensils when I went to Bo-jangles. This served as a reminder, that trusting God with my future is the best thing to do. He knows what will happen years from now (and also makes provision), when the most I can do is speculate as to what I 'think' may possibly occur (redundant, I know, but I want to drive the point home, lol).

This is my reminder, anytime I feel the need to take the wheel, that God is a much better driver than am I. :)

Happy Birthday to Whom?

Just imagine with me…

You just woke up, and you just feel like today is going to be a wonderful day.

You roll out of bed and get fresh and clean for the day.

Your hair looks nice, and you smell extra good, because today is a special day.

Your cell phone rings. It’s your mom, and she wishes you a happy birthday.

Of course, it’s your birthday.

You expect this day to be special.

Now imagine that it’s a weekday, so you have obligations.

Your day has already been scripted. You only have left to follow that script that has been designed just for you.

You already know that so many people will call, text, and send you messages on facebook to remind you of how loved you are on your special day.


It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

The day is flying by.

Your agenda had already warned you that it would be an oddly busy day.

Upon checking your phone, you learn that no one has called, neither has anyone sent you any text messages.

“Maybe they’ll call later” you convince yourself.

Everyone is obviously just as busy as you are.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

They’ll catch up with me later.


It’s 6 o’clock in the evening.

Your day is pretty much done in the way of obligations, and now its time to have fun.

You call your friends to see what type of mischief you all can get into that evening.

Each person you call already has plans!

What friends these are.

Your family members didn’t even leave free time in their schedules to spend with you.


It’s 9:45 at night.

You’re not really sleepy or tired, but there isn’t much else to do, but watch tv and go to be.

You decide to retire early, somberly disappointed by all the people that you thought cared about you, that let you down on the one day a year that you feel that you deserve at least a little attention.

How would you feel?


Now, think about all the Christmases you’ve celebrated.

Not only do we neglect to acknowledge December 25th as the Lord’s special day, but we even go as far as to exchange presents with friends and family members on this day.

Imagine how God must feel.

He may get a ‘Thank you’ or an ‘I love you’ but is that all He deserves on a day that is supposed to celebrate Him and His precious Son?


Let’s make this holiday season different from all the others.

Let’s use this time to bless God by showing love to those who are less fortunate.

There are children and families all over the world who can’t afford to be selfish over the holidays, because they don’t have the resources to do so.


Remember them.


In addition to blessing those who really only need prayer and love, bless those who can truly benefit from the fruit of your labor.


Have a wonderful holiday season of showing love and blessing those who are not as financially stable as you and your family.


Leviticus 23:22 Deuteronomy 15:11 Luke 14:12-14 Luke 12:33

Just Not Tall Enough to Reach the Goals God has Set...

Have you ever felt like you just weren’t big enough?

Have you ever considered your abilities insufficient for the task you’ve been given – like there are sooo many other people better-suited for the job?

You’re tip-toeing around the thought of whether God actually meant to choose you.

You, the young person who never did anything right, who never seemed to live up to the person(s) your parents wanted you to emulate, who never gave your WHOLE life to God before, who hasn’t truly trusted a person in years, who’s not quite sure he/she knows how to love with longevity, but who is ready to trust God like you never have before, who is ready to love God genuinely and lengthily like you never have before, and who knows it’s time to turn it all over to Him.

It’s time to turn it all over to the God who was there when you lost friends to the cunning, cold hand of death: the God who continues to reach for your WHOLE heart although you have tried up until recently to keep parts of it just beyond His reach, the God who has always provided for you, and who has been the only man to TRULY care for you and every minute thing that was remotely related to you.

What a Love that is!

You are tall enough.

God is there lifting you to reach the goals He has for you.

What Does It Mean to be a Christian?

Don’t give your literal definition of the word, really think about it.
Try to look past the horrible examples which have been set before you.
Try not to let the subversive Christians you've encountered, impact the perfection the Lord embodies.

Think about the sacrifices, think about the humility, think about the lifestyle, think about the love – think about the word's connotation.
From my actions, I can tell you what others may think it means…
”Oh, well it must mean indulging in your most basic desires without going 'too far'.”
“It must mean doing any- and everything except killing people, stealing, etc; you know, anything for which you could possibly be imprisoned.”
“Maybe it means appearing to be nice and sweet to others, while doing whatever you’d like behind closed doors.”
“Or maybe it means going to church, and participating in other religious activities, while still maintaining the entirety of your own individualism.”

In reality, being a Christian is something completely different.
Being a Christian means living love.
It means loving humanity enough to sacrifice yourself, your lifestyle, and your possessions, to draw those who are lost.
Being a Christian means making the ultimate sacrifice.
It doesn’t necessarily mean forsaking what distinguishes you from everyone else, but it does mean using those distinctions to serve God.
Ultimately, it is redefining the value you have as a person – trading what the world values in and about you for what God deems invaluable in and about you.

Now, beyond defining 'being a Christian', the true task is living it.

A Yearning for Something More...

Have you ever felt like there was something more?
...like, there has to be more to life than where you are and what you're doing.
Have you ever wondered what else could be done;
what more you could do with your talents and your unique abilities?
You are an individual.
There are specific things that you can do, that no one else on this earth can do.
The combination of talents and abilities that coalesce to form the intricacies of your existence, make you incomparable to any other person on this earth.
Your desires, your thoughts, your words, your form of expression, you mindset, your goals, you style, your sense of humor, your knowledge-base, your expertise, your beliefs - its all you.
These comprise the rudiment of your being.
You are who you are - not to be overlooked or underestimated, but to be exalted as an individual person.
The characteristics that distinguish one person from another are what make us alive.
They make us human.
Out ability to love, our ability to create, our ability to envision, our ability to dream makes us extraordinary.
Cast aside any desires to mesh with the crowd.
Abort any thoughts that nurture the notion of detesting difference.
God (yes, God) has made each of us different.
Your decision to believe or disbelieve this doesn't alter its truthfulness.
Embrace your differences.
Understand that God has created you with these distinct characteristics for a distinct reason.
To know your true purpose, to understand why you are, you must seek Him.
He does have the all the answers.
As mere humans, our knowledge has limits, our perspective has limits, and our understanding has limits.
Admit it.
Humble yourself under the Mighty Hand of the One, Who, even His boundlessness is infinite.