We All Stumble at Times

I'm constantly in a hurry.

Sometimes I really need to just take my time, and be attentive to what I'm doing.

Those were my disclaimers, now, on with the story...

I work in one building, but I'm constantly going to the neighboring buildings to get specific things done.

The other day, I was in one of the neighboring buildings.

I'm moving and going, going through my list, really getting things done and checking items off my list.
I head into a specific room, and get things done. Once I finish, I collect my things and head for the door.
Now, the door has a window, so I can see from inside the room that there are people standing right outside the door.
I can also tell that the people aren't completely blocking the door, so I can still safely exit.
I open the door, and head out in quite a hurry.
Directly after crossing the threshold of the door and turning to walk down the hallway, I stumble over a mini machine.
I don't just stumble, I nearly trip and fall, and take out the expensive machine as I fall.
I felt terrible for almost destroying someone's expensive machine, but it should not have been on the floor.
If I had fallen and gotten seriously injured, it would have totally been their fault.
Anyway, I thought it was hilarious that I was in such a rush that I almost fell and seriously injured myself and simultaneously taking out an expensive piece of research machinery.
That's that.
Have a wonderful time!!

Thank God it's Monday!

I woke up this morning feeling amazing.
I can't even begin to describe the peace that I felt.
I opened the blinds and let the sun warm my face, I turned on my stereo, and jammed a little, I even had some breakfast.
I never cook and eat breakfast at home before heading to work.
This morning was really just so amazing.
All credit is due to my awesome Lord.
Yesterday, between movies, I managed to get down on my knees - head to the floor - and tell God 'thank you'.
I thanked Him for all that I have, and for where He has brought me.
I was watching a sappy movie about how big a difference a great man can make in one's life.
That encouraged me to thank Him for my boyfriend.
The man that God has placed in my life is amazing.
There is no man like him, and I truly believe that God made this man JUST for me.
We haven't known each other long, but I feel like we've been best friends for a lifetime.
We have so much fun when we're together.
Anyway, I'll use another post to go on and on about my boyfriend.
This post is for voicing my gratitude for the love and grace of God.
I truly am thankful.
Because of the goodness of God and the peace that He gives,
this just might be my best Monday-morning-before-work EVER!!

I hope that you all have wonderfully blessed Mondays and wonderfully blessed weeks!!

Mwah! :)

Missing You

I was walking earlier, and I thought about calling to talk with you.
A smile softened my face at the thought of speaking to you.
Then I remembered...
You're not at the house sitting in "your chair" watching every version of the news broadcasted.
You're not in the garden watering your plants.
You're not at Smitty's getting a can of snuff, a pack of nabs, and a coke.

I know that it's been months upon months since you've been able to do those things, but obviously my mind took me to the before.
My mind took a journey to the "good ole days" when you were still laughing.

You always told me exactly what was on your mind, and you always gave me such great advice.
I cherish your advice.
I'll never forget those conversations we had about how well 'he' took care of you.

But now, you're unreachable.
You're in a place where phone calls, tight hugs, and big kisses can't reach you.
That somewhat saddens my heart, because I know that you loved those things. I know that you're fine now.
I know that where you are at this very moment, you are just fine.

I love you always always.

Every now and then

Every now and then (at times beyond my choosing) my mind drifts back to people who were formerly near and dear to my heart. Right away, those thoughts warm my heart, and bring a sadness that things aren’t the way they “used to be”. Yes, we all have to move on. We have to pick up ourselves, so that we can create new memories and new moments which we will one day in the future look back upon. Honestly, I sometimes wish I could live completely in the past. I don’t mean getting a second chance at certain opportunities, and events. I literally mean living in a memory; or maybe even jumping from great memory to great memory, without all the in-betweens. There are people with whom I wish I could spend a lifetime instead of a moment or even a day. I’m just thankful that God has blessed us to accept the fact that people come and go.

Very rarely, I have the urge to blurt out “You are an amazing, intelligent person, who has truly mastered the ability to show your intelligence without belittling those around you. Simply being near you has been inspiring in so many ways, and I just wish you could be present to positively influence my life forever.” Or “I know that we’ve had our disagreements. I know that I am far from truly grasping what a friend really is, and I understand that I’ve made innumerable mistakes thus far, but if only you could stay in my life so that I could learn how to be a better person and a better friend. It may be a risk for you to continue to be around me - you, being the amazing friend and person that you are - but am I not worth that risk?”

A hiatus with a little procrastination on the side

I haven't blogged in quite a while....everything's been great...work has just been pretty busy lately.

Just a quick update:
Mommy's doing well - just got engaged. << She's hilarious too! I never realized that growing up.
Brother's doing great - vacationing more than working; I love my bwother :)
The rest of the fam is alright.
The beau is AMAZING - I'll share more about the young man at a later time.
Dog is 'making it' - He is only 'making it' because he's still at a shelter somewhere wishing he were mine...I want a dog!!!
The hair is cooperating - it's growing like a weed on hormones; so outta control!

So yeah, everything's groovey.

I'll be writing a 'real' blog soon though.

Later gators!! : )

H-E-L-P

How do I ask for help?

Growing up, our family traversed some pretty rough terrain. I won't go into the details of what obstacles constituted that rough terrain, but I will say that depending on others was the only way we survived. From depending on friends to babysit me and my older sibling, while my mother worked several part-time jobs, to depending on family to lend us money, appliances, and anything else we didn't have.

There was also a certain mindset that clouded our home, but I didn't realize the effects of it until recently. It is a lot like pollution. No one can really "see" the effects of pollution as the pollutants are clouding our skies, but scientists know and relay to layman that these pollutants are eating away our ozone layer and contributing to global warming.

Back to the help thing....

Now that I am an adult with a full-time job, I avoid asking for help at all costs. Even having others offer to help me in common situations makes me feel somewhat defensive and vulnerable as I tell myself (even when it's not true) "I can do it on my own!"

I want to learn how to ask for help. I want to learn how to communicate my need for assistance or prayer to friends and family members. I want to be able to accept that help knowing everyone needs a boost at one point or another. I also want to be able to accept help even if no one else in the entire world ever needs help. I am not like everyone else. I am not like anyone else. There are times when I need help, but that is much more easily typed than spoken. Lol.

I am trying to be independent in a situation and under circumstances that completely merit me occasionally accepting a little aid. Independence is very important to me because growing up, we never could claim independence. There was always someone somewhere we owed. That is not a great feeling, but that is the way it was.

Was is the key word. Right now, I don't owe any person any thing (accept Verizon, because I just remembered I haven't paid my bill this month :). Just as I am more than willing to help others in ANY way I possibly can, I have to be at least a little willing to ask for help when I need help.

Right now, I pray that God helps me to request and accept help whenever I really need it. Even if people think I am some type of loser/moocher/lazy bum for asking for help ONCE, that is okay. I have no control over what others think of me.

<3

Just for Me

I believe God made the sky just for us.

I believe he made it a soft hue of ice blue in the morning
and radiant shades of orange, red, and purple in the evening just for us.

I believe that God painted these awesome masterpieces for his creation to enjoy and appreciate.

I believe He painted the sky to remind us that His presence is everywhere, that He cares - even about the smallest details - and to make us open our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us.

Yesterday I was completely exhausted. As I was out running errands, I was able to take a few seconds to look up at the sky. This glance birthed a conversation with God, and made me completely forget how tired I was.

Turns out, we had quite a bit to talk about as there are quite a few things going on in my life right now about which I NEED His direction.

It just felt so incomparably amazing to just express to Him the splendor of His creation, and pour out my heart to Him.

I believe that God caused me to look up at the clouds as a way of reminding me that we needed to talk.

I believe that the specific area of sky that froze my thoughts and arrested my undivided attention, was painted just for me.