H-E-L-P

How do I ask for help?

Growing up, our family traversed some pretty rough terrain. I won't go into the details of what obstacles constituted that rough terrain, but I will say that depending on others was the only way we survived. From depending on friends to babysit me and my older sibling, while my mother worked several part-time jobs, to depending on family to lend us money, appliances, and anything else we didn't have.

There was also a certain mindset that clouded our home, but I didn't realize the effects of it until recently. It is a lot like pollution. No one can really "see" the effects of pollution as the pollutants are clouding our skies, but scientists know and relay to layman that these pollutants are eating away our ozone layer and contributing to global warming.

Back to the help thing....

Now that I am an adult with a full-time job, I avoid asking for help at all costs. Even having others offer to help me in common situations makes me feel somewhat defensive and vulnerable as I tell myself (even when it's not true) "I can do it on my own!"

I want to learn how to ask for help. I want to learn how to communicate my need for assistance or prayer to friends and family members. I want to be able to accept that help knowing everyone needs a boost at one point or another. I also want to be able to accept help even if no one else in the entire world ever needs help. I am not like everyone else. I am not like anyone else. There are times when I need help, but that is much more easily typed than spoken. Lol.

I am trying to be independent in a situation and under circumstances that completely merit me occasionally accepting a little aid. Independence is very important to me because growing up, we never could claim independence. There was always someone somewhere we owed. That is not a great feeling, but that is the way it was.

Was is the key word. Right now, I don't owe any person any thing (accept Verizon, because I just remembered I haven't paid my bill this month :). Just as I am more than willing to help others in ANY way I possibly can, I have to be at least a little willing to ask for help when I need help.

Right now, I pray that God helps me to request and accept help whenever I really need it. Even if people think I am some type of loser/moocher/lazy bum for asking for help ONCE, that is okay. I have no control over what others think of me.

<3